The reason I wanted to cover the different aspects of this visit session is that I feel it is important to talk about the struggles and feelings at different stages. I haven’t decided if I will continue to do it in this matter just yet but as I continue my sessions, I will make that determination. The biggest reason I also wanted to document this 24-hour period is that it was a bigger struggle than I thought it was going to be.
I was drained after the session, so I put on some headphones in the car and zoned out while a podcast played. Once I got home, I struggled to not try and analyze everything that happened. My therapist stressed the fact that I needed to let my brain do its thing for the next 24-hours. Physically my body wanted nothing more than to nap however, my brain was not in a place to shut off and let me nap. I couldn’t find something that I wanted to watch for more than five minutes. I tried to get lost in all my mobile games, eventually giving up and working on a couple of projects I have in the works. I finally got to a point where I was both mentally and physically exhausted; I ended up taking a couple of hour nap.
That night was the first night that when I slept, I felt a weight lifted off of me. For as long as I can remember I have only had nightmares that I could recall the next morning. Many nights I wake up having an anxiety attack with my heart racing. I am a very restless sleeper and it causes me to need an excessive amount of room when I sleep. I wouldn’t say that I didn’t have any nightmares that night, but they didn’t have the intensity they did before. It was a different feeling waking up the next morning. I had a ton of energy the next morning for the first time in a long time. I worked on my projects for about an hour after I got up until my other kids got home from school. At that point, the 24-hour period had lapsed, and I gave myself permission to let my mind wander to the session if it happened to. I will cover the rest of the session one outcome in next week’s post. Until then be kind and nerd out.